It Happened Again...
...and now I'm going to share it with all of you! So, if your not in the mood to hear me gripe--X out of my blog....now.
I went to Value Village today in search of tea pots and tea cups for a Christmas Tea we are having at church this weekend. While I was there this older man stopped me and commented on how 'busy I must be'. I smiled and said my usual, "yep, I sure am" before trying to escape-- I know from experience what was coming next.....ugh! To him I am one of those "poor women with several kids". Honestly! And to make comments like that right in front of the kids. It really shows you what society's view on children is: they are a burden and they must not have ears--so say whatever's on your mind. :)
Having children is hard and can be draining at times. Honestly, some days I think I may just loose my mind. Pregnancy can be hard (for some), and homeschooling is hard. If everyone gave up on the things that are difficult, the world would look --well, very similar to what we see around us: neglected and abused kids, even more marriages falling apart, etc. It takes hard work, perseverance, sacrifice and a lot of selflessness.
God says that "children are a blessing" and if He said it, we should believe it, and treat them as such. That doesn't mean that everyone needs to have 3 kids or any at all. But maybe it is our attitudes that need to change. You may not feel very blessed at 3am when you are up for the billionth time feeding a baby, or when you are cleaning up vomit or when they completely embarrass you by throwing a ginormous fit in public, but they are blessings nonetheless. As my mom always said, "the good out-weighs the bad". For every tantrum there is a "mom (and dad), I love you", "your pretty", smiles, giggles, kisses and ah-ha moments that make you forget the tough times.
Well, that is all...for now. I'm sure I will get back on this subject one day.
10 comments:
It is parents like you who raise kids with good, compassionate hearts. And the world needs more people with loving hearts. Good job mom/wife/daughter/sister/cousin/teacher/chef/chauffuer/housekeeper/mediator/referee/personal shopper/planer of all things!
You are right God says that children are a blessing... even if one chooses not to believe it, he says they are. So they are.
Amy,
Very well said...I'm in agreement that we busy moms need to be *allowed* to be tired...there is a lot of pressure (because everyone's looking for the "ah ha!" moment), to maintain a constant look of "I've got it all together". It's a sweet place when you have friends or family that love your conviction to receive blessings, and understand at the same time that this is the hardest job on earth!
People can just be dumb and they say dumb things. Um, is that rude? Oh well, I'm typing it anyway.
I think it's weird that people think that 4 is a lot of kids Isn't it kind of average? I should ask Daves mom (mother of 8) if she ever got any weird comments and how she responded.
ps-blessing, definitly!
I love it when someone makes a dumb commment..yes..you are "busy"
obviously! NO...I set around all day reading books and eating bon-bons!! You are a great mom Amy!
Our kids are our TREASURES on this earth and the only thing we can take to heaven with us!
I’m sure that my comments are going to upset some of you but I believe you should also think of their comments for the other side of the coin. I am sure that several of them are like me---people who can not have children. I have made statements like that in the past and I am sure others think of me as rude but I know from my own experience that I am amazed by all of you that choose to have children. I also believe that they are a blessing, BUT am unable to even imagine how you can do so much. I have 1 nephew that I love dearly and thoroughly enjoy spending time with him and take him whenever I can. I am also very grateful when he goes home because he totally wears me out since he is only two and in ten places at once. I only know the life that God gave me, one without children, and deal with it the best I can. You may feel that their comments are rude but you should also realize that in some small way they could be paying you a complement…you have been so blessed… and we were not. My guess would be that when you have children you get used to the ciaos, where people like me have never experienced it, can not really wrap our brains around it.
Mel,
Your comment does not upset me...at all! Also, just because you are okay with your nephew going home does not mean to me that you don't view kids as a blessing. They are tiring and you are right, they are into 10 things at a time. :)
The comments that upset me all come from people who DO have kids...by their own admitting.
One guy in Walmart actually stopped me in my tracks, looked at me, and said, "are these all yours? are they twins"? When I said yes, he got in my face and said (loudly & rude) "I am SO sorry". After he saw I was a little irritated, he told me he has 4 kids also. Hmm...
The "you must be busy" comment is not a rude comment. But, in my experience has more often then not been followed by: better you then me, oh-I would kill myself, I would die, I would rather's..., etc. Which is why when I get comments from 'questionable strangers' in public I tend to be on my guard.
If you, another family member or a friend, were to say to me, "oh, Amy, you must be so busy" or "I don't know how you do it", I would know that you were saying it lovinly and with respect.
In this post I was refering to the "poor woman" comment made in front of my kids, sorry if that wasn't clear, or if I offended you.
Thank you for your encouraging words Amy. You truly have a the gift of insight. Your words always bless me in some way...Thank you friend! :)
Hey there Amy! :) I love that out of nowhere I have found myself back in touch with you and Jenessa and Angie. And of course I remember you! I can imagine that you are the best mom, because you were my favorite babysitter. What cute kids you have, and wow, to have those little twin girls :), my mom's still hoping for twin grandbabies somewhere in the works.
I totally hear you on this post, I posted one similar not too long ago. I grew up in a larger than the norm size family as you know, and have one now myself. And you're right, the kids do hear it, I remember several of the comments made to my parents when we were all out in public, some people just really don't think. And then now, with expecting my 6th child, I get a lot of those "looks" and comments too, and it gets hard not to be really snotty back to some of the people who treat you like you're doing yourself and the world some sort of injustice to have what they consider many children. One of my personal un-favorites has been "Have you figured out where they come from yet?"--I mean come on, right? It really does get old, but I just try to remember that my kids are some of those priveleged today to get the chance and cool experience of growing up in a big family, because not so many kids these days do. I personally completely respect everyone's decision on how many children they have or whether to have any at all. I wish more people would offer the same respect and withhold their judgments. And yes, they are a lot of work, but so worth it and each and every one such a blessing.
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